Tag Archives: books

Being okay with being me

I sit here tonight, rather content. Is my life perfect? Oh hellll no. lol I have a new class starting tomorrow for school (anatomy and physiology I, and yes I’m scared), there’s laundry in the dryer, a barely started afghan on my hook, a cross stitch that hasn’t been touched in weeks, I should probably vacuum, and I really need to sort my closet.

But…

What’s had this post on my brain for a while now, has been this video. I will admit to being a huge Wil Wheaton fan. Ever since I was a little girl, not quite nine years old, curled up on the couch against my daddy’s side, watching “Encounter at Farpoint” for the first time, I thought Mr. Wheaton was the COOLEST person ever. He was a TEENAGER (which at not-quite-nine is a big deal) and he was ON STAR TREK. The NEW Star Trek. The first NEW Star Trek series in AGES (my earliest ST memories are of IV: The Voyage Home, yes I’d seen most of them, but for whatever reason IV is the one that sticks in my brain as the first movie I remember). So, all of that being said, when I was that not quite nine year old little girl, Mr. Wheaton was very, very cool. (by the way if you want to find out how cool of a person he still is, go here, he does podcasts and blogging things and just cool stuffs. Speaking of podcasts, can someone explain these to me? I have an iPhone and obviously internet, but I’m not quite sure what I do to listen/watch to these things… so help an “old lady” out here).

Then that nine year old little girl grew up into a rather shy, introverted, awkward, teenager… I tried really, REALLY, hard to fit in. I was in marching band, I changed that to JROTC (which actually was a great idea because I don’t know if I would have graduated if I hadn’t), I had friends here and there, but no one I was ever really close to. Yes, even today I have some people I knew in high school on Facebook and such, but, I was never really super close with anyone, and I’m still not. After being laughed at, or worse, bullied (at times rather severely), for being smart, liking to read, liking all the things I like (the list is long, but I’ll get to that), I tried to hide it. I tried to “give up” the things I liked. Seriously. I stopped watching ST:TNG, never watched an episode of DS9, Voyager, or Enterprise, when they first were on air. Never saw another movie in the theater. I gave it all up. (and Star Trek isn’t all of it, never watched Stargate, or Eureka, or Warehouse 13, or ANYTHING sci-fi related at all, more on that in a bit)

I hid how smart I was (and really, I’m not THAT smart). I wouldn’t read in public. Missed a lot of really cool stuff. Never went to a DragonCon in Atlanta (usually that’s the closest Con of any interest to me here in SC) or any other Con for that matter. (Still on my bucket list, but I’ll get there). I hid the fact that I loved Animaniacs, and Batman:The Animated Series (that IS where I found Harley after all, WAY before she was “cool” and Suicide Squad was a thing). I didn’t talk about growing up on Star Wars (my R2D2 underoos ROCKED thank-you-very-much), Star Trek (TOS and the movies, and TNG until I got “too cool”), Buckaroo Bonzai (still John Lithgow’s best role if I do say so)… I didn’t talk about how much I loved Stephen King, and Dean Koontz, and Robin Cook (they made you THINK), as well as Anne McCaffrey (dragons, DUH). Instead I tried to dislike all of that stuff, and like all the “cool” stuff. I tried. I failed. I liked rock and alternative and metal (I also have a deep love of classical, and was a trained pianist at one point in my life). I couldn’t get into pop and country (hey I am in the south, that was the “thing”).

So, I kind of wandered and did my own thing, and kept who I was to myself. I didn’t talk about what I liked, and would just smile and nod when my friends would get excited about what they were into. I would watch the popular movies, listen to the Top 40 stations, and just kind of exist.

So… anyway… onward…

I play it off well, but I am severely introverted. I could literally go days without ever leaving the house and be perfectly content. I struggle with reaching out to people, I struggle with making plans, and if I do make them, I struggle with following through with them. I am really good at excuses. That sounds horrible I know. It’s not always excuses either, I do have things that come up, life happens! I will admit that sometimes though, it is an excuse. Thankfully I have a couple of wonderful friends, and a great husband, that don’t give me too much shit about it either.

I really do have a point, bear with me, I’m getting there, I promise…

Within the last five years or so ago, I slowly started realizing that I can like what I like. Netflix has been the BEST thing ever. Really. That’s sounds crazy, but I’m quite serious. With the digital streaming service, I have been able to watch every single Star Trek episode and movie I’ve wanted. (okay, almost, the newest reboot of the Star Trek movies aren’t all available on Netflix yet, but I’ll get to it eventually). Not just all the ST series either, (and sorry to everybody, as much as TNG has a very special place in my heart, Voyager is my hands down favorite), but Charmed, Buffy, Angel, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Firefly, Haven, Eureka, Warehouse 13, and I’m sure more that I’ve lost track of.

Not long after I started binge watching (Hi, my name is Becca, and I binge watch on Netflix and Amazon), I found the video I mentioned at the beginning of this. I am woman enough to admit that the first time I watched it, I cried. Here was Mr. Wheaton, a man I’d hero-worshiped as an 8 year old girl (and sorry Anne, had a bit of a crush on, too), telling me that I AM OKAY. So… silly little fan girl that I am, loaded up my twitter again, and started following all kinds of my favorite people. Too many to name, but I’ve had some “follow backs” myself that have made me grin like a crazy person, as well as replies and likes from several of my favorite people. I’ve had brief Facebook chats with some truly awesome people (more on that in the future, maybe 😉 ).

I tweet and Facebook about new projects coming up, sharing memes and seeing fun stuff. I laugh, I smile, I read blogs and articles, sign up for newsletters and generally enjoy myself and all the geekness I can handle. I look at pictures from conventions, I smile at Mr. Auberjonois’ bucket pictures. I giggle when Jeri Ryan and Robert Picardo tease each other. I try not to swoon too much when I get a like, or a reply.

And then, as I’m writing, Jeri Ryan posts this meme:

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And well, it’s kind of my whole point. I’m letting my weird light shine bright. I’m here. I’m shy. I’m socially awkward. I may stutter, shake, giggle in weird places, or smile way too much, but I’m a weirdo. And I’m okay with that.

So, to Mr. Wheaton (and his lovely wife, Anne), Jeri Ryan, Terry Farrell, Gates McFadden, Sir Patrick Stewart, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Rene Auberjonois, Manu Intiraymi, Robert Picardo, Brent Spiner, Eddie McClintock, Connor Trineer, Jolene Blalock, and so many many many more, THANK YOU. You all have been massively patient with us crazy fans. I know there are “bad eggs” out there, but you still continue to be patient with us, even if we are annoying. ❤

(P.S. I will get back to my crafty updates soon, I promise, I do have things to show off there)

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Innocence Review

Innocence by Dean Koontz.

Okay, first off, put Dean Koontz in the category with Stephen King. I LOVE HIM. I have read nearly everything he has written, that I have been able to get my hands on so far. (Again, google play books gift cards are ALWAYS welcome *giggles*)

I do have my favorite by him, In the Corner of His Eye, and when I drag it out for the semi-annual re-read, I’ll post a review. It is such a complex and interwoven story, I wouldn’t be able to do it justice without a fresh read on my mind.

Anyway…

So, hubby surprised me with this one. I had zipped through the latest book for my book club in a couple of days, so, I get a message, “check google play books.” I’ll admit, I squealed like a little girl. *blush* Okay, onto my thoughts, and as usual SPOILER ALERT!!

I will actually say, Mr. Koontz confused me a bit on this one. I couldn’t quite figure out where we were going with our two main characters, Addison and Gwyneth, for a good chunk of the book. It’s a very fast paced story, going back and forth between Addison’s past and what was currently going on. Several interesting twists and turns throughout tho. Is it his best? No, but like I said, I already have a favorite. But, since I typically always do this, especially with newer works by any of my favorites, when I read in the letter from the author that the story was inspired by someone who wrote him after reading In the Corner of His Eye that gave me a bigger appreciation. I think as it typical with most Dean Koontz (or really any author) you either love it or you hate it. I still put it in the love category, and still give it my personal 5 stars, but I think if you’re reading Dean Koontz for the first time, choosing a different book to start is a better option. Go try the Odd series (which I still need to catch up on, again, play books please? giggles)

Onward to more reviews and post! Thank you for reading! Smile!


Yep, I’m that nerd.

Since it’s the weekend, how about something fun lol.

Yep, like I said, I am that nerd. I’ve watched, and I’m not kidding, literally, EVERY episode of Star Trek. (From the original series to Enterprise, in order, sort of) All the movies (except the most recent, which when it shows up on Netflix or Amazon, I’ll get there). I’ve argued who’s the best captain (Janeway is my favorite, which I know makes most people cringe), which series was best and why (TNG is near and dear to my heart, but Voyager and DS9 are close seconds). I’ve seen every Star Wars movie, more than once. All three Blade movies. Both Tomb Raiders. Pretty much all the Marvel and DC based movies. You get the idea.

I could start listing all the series I’ve binged watched on Netflix and Amazon, but I’d probably have to go back and look at my history *snorts* But, besides the Star Treks, to list a few, Eureka, Warehouse 13 (and yes I bounced up and down when Kate Mulgrew appeared), Haven, Angel, Buffy (YAY for Armin Shimerman as the principal lol)… You get the drift. (and yes I’m desperately awaiting Haven to get the latest season on Amazon or Netflix and for the final Season of Warehouse 13 to come out).

I’ve also read just about every thing Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Robin Cook, plus almost every Pern book both of the McCaffrey’s have published. Not to mention countless other authors, books, genres, etc etc etc.

I follow so many of the actors/authors on Twitter and Facebook, it’s not even funny. But, especially right now, with Destination Star Trek going on in Germany, I love all the pictures and stories that are being posted. Speaking of…

I’ve never been to a convention. No ComiCon, no DragonCon, no Star Trek Convention. Does it break my heart now even more that I missed the DragonCon with Anne McCaffrey. Yes. I wish I could have gone and had at least one of my copies of her books signed. I’ve never done CosPlay, I don’t own a single costume (unless you count my Harley Quinn shirt, yes, it’s black and red like her costume lol). To some people, this makes me “not a real nerd”. lol Apparently I have no “street cred” as a nerd. That’s okay though, just makes me giggle. (And a little green with envy when I see pictures of them at the various Con’s).

For a long time, I hid my love of things SciFi and Fantasy. LOL Because I was so worried what people would think. *facedesk* Yeah, I used to be one of those people. Don’t care anymore though. I proudly wear my Star Wars, Harley Quinn, or Big Bang Theory t shirts in public. I happily pour through the shelves at Hot Topic to find the latest tshirt/wallet/accessory/whatever lol.

I am also the one that will sit there an say or think “where do I know that actor from?” And typically after running off to IMDB, I find out they played some part in a Trek. Which is why I probably love Warehouse 13, so many actors from a lot of the Trek series make appearances (Rene Auberjonois to mention another). Or after watching Haven, then watching Buffy and realizing that Duke (Eric Balfour) from Haven was Xander’s (Nicholas Brendon) best bud Jesse in the first couple of Buffy episodes (who promptly got turned into a vamp and slayed, but still). Loved the cross overs between Eureka and Warehouse 13 (actually got into watching Warehouse 13 after seeing the episode with Claudia [Allison Scagliotti] in Eureka lol). I mean come on! Even Seth MacFarlane was in a couple of TNG episodes, and now Patrick Stewart does voices for him. lol It’s all interconnected.

As a kid, I wanted to be on Star Trek. Hoped that some day I’d be “discovered” lol (kinda hard if you don’t audition) and be on the show. Wow, yeah I really AM that nerd. But, the nice thing now, since my kids’ friends are into a lot of the same stuff I’m the “cool mom” that can talk Avengers, or Star Trek and actually know what I’m talking about. lol

On the flip side, I tried Battlestar Galactica (both old and new), couldn’t get into it (even if I did recognize one of the characters from Eureka lol). I also love all things Alton Brown, watch Food Network, and still have a slight addiction to Days of Our Lives. So shoot me. Which in some people’s eyes, again, makes me not “enough” of a nerd lol. Whatever, I love what I love and well, no one is making you watch it! (Hey even DH doesn’t share my love of it all).

I guess the point of all of this is, embrace what you love. If you love HGTV, then watch it, and be proud. If you love all things SciFi, then watch and be proud. It’s your opinion, not everybody is going to agree, and that’s okay. But, if you’ve never read a book or watched an episode of anything outside of your “comfort zone” try it! You never know what you might find that you like.

Most importantly smile. You never know, it will make your day better and just might make someone else feel better too.


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