Tag Archives: friends

Being okay with being me

I sit here tonight, rather content. Is my life perfect? Oh hellll no. lol I have a new class starting tomorrow for school (anatomy and physiology I, and yes I’m scared), there’s laundry in the dryer, a barely started afghan on my hook, a cross stitch that hasn’t been touched in weeks, I should probably vacuum, and I really need to sort my closet.


What’s had this post on my brain for a while now, has been this video. I will admit to being a huge Wil Wheaton fan. Ever since I was a little girl, not quite nine years old, curled up on the couch against my daddy’s side, watching “Encounter at Farpoint” for the first time, I thought Mr. Wheaton was the COOLEST person ever. He was a TEENAGER (which at not-quite-nine is a big deal) and he was ON STAR TREK. The NEW Star Trek. The first NEW Star Trek series in AGES (my earliest ST memories are of IV: The Voyage Home, yes I’d seen most of them, but for whatever reason IV is the one that sticks in my brain as the first movie I remember). So, all of that being said, when I was that not quite nine year old little girl, Mr. Wheaton was very, very cool. (by the way if you want to find out how cool of a person he still is, go here, he does podcasts and blogging things and just cool stuffs. Speaking of podcasts, can someone explain these to me? I have an iPhone and obviously internet, but I’m not quite sure what I do to listen/watch to these things… so help an “old lady” out here).

Then that nine year old little girl grew up into a rather shy, introverted, awkward, teenager… I tried really, REALLY, hard to fit in. I was in marching band, I changed that to JROTC (which actually was a great idea because I don’t know if I would have graduated if I hadn’t), I had friends here and there, but no one I was ever really close to. Yes, even today I have some people I knew in high school on Facebook and such, but, I was never really super close with anyone, and I’m still not. After being laughed at, or worse, bullied (at times rather severely), for being smart, liking to read, liking all the things I like (the list is long, but I’ll get to that), I tried to hide it. I tried to “give up” the things I liked. Seriously. I stopped watching ST:TNG, never watched an episode of DS9, Voyager, or Enterprise, when they first were on air. Never saw another movie in the theater. I gave it all up. (and Star Trek isn’t all of it, never watched Stargate, or Eureka, or Warehouse 13, or ANYTHING sci-fi related at all, more on that in a bit)

I hid how smart I was (and really, I’m not THAT smart). I wouldn’t read in public. Missed a lot of really cool stuff. Never went to a DragonCon in Atlanta (usually that’s the closest Con of any interest to me here in SC) or any other Con for that matter. (Still on my bucket list, but I’ll get there). I hid the fact that I loved Animaniacs, and Batman:The Animated Series (that IS where I found Harley after all, WAY before she was “cool” and Suicide Squad was a thing). I didn’t talk about growing up on Star Wars (my R2D2 underoos ROCKED thank-you-very-much), Star Trek (TOS and the movies, and TNG until I got “too cool”), Buckaroo Bonzai (still John Lithgow’s best role if I do say so)… I didn’t talk about how much I loved Stephen King, and Dean Koontz, and Robin Cook (they made you THINK), as well as Anne McCaffrey (dragons, DUH). Instead I tried to dislike all of that stuff, and like all the “cool” stuff. I tried. I failed. I liked rock and alternative and metal (I also have a deep love of classical, and was a trained pianist at one point in my life). I couldn’t get into pop and country (hey I am in the south, that was the “thing”).

So, I kind of wandered and did my own thing, and kept who I was to myself. I didn’t talk about what I liked, and would just smile and nod when my friends would get excited about what they were into. I would watch the popular movies, listen to the Top 40 stations, and just kind of exist.

So… anyway… onward…

I play it off well, but I am severely introverted. I could literally go days without ever leaving the house and be perfectly content. I struggle with reaching out to people, I struggle with making plans, and if I do make them, I struggle with following through with them. I am really good at excuses. That sounds horrible I know. It’s not always excuses either, I do have things that come up, life happens! I will admit that sometimes though, it is an excuse. Thankfully I have a couple of wonderful friends, and a great husband, that don’t give me too much shit about it either.

I really do have a point, bear with me, I’m getting there, I promise…

Within the last five years or so ago, I slowly started realizing that I can like what I like. Netflix has been the BEST thing ever. Really. That’s sounds crazy, but I’m quite serious. With the digital streaming service, I have been able to watch every single Star Trek episode and movie I’ve wanted. (okay, almost, the newest reboot of the Star Trek movies aren’t all available on Netflix yet, but I’ll get to it eventually). Not just all the ST series either, (and sorry to everybody, as much as TNG has a very special place in my heart, Voyager is my hands down favorite), but Charmed, Buffy, Angel, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Firefly, Haven, Eureka, Warehouse 13, and I’m sure more that I’ve lost track of.

Not long after I started binge watching (Hi, my name is Becca, and I binge watch on Netflix and Amazon), I found the video I mentioned at the beginning of this. I am woman enough to admit that the first time I watched it, I cried. Here was Mr. Wheaton, a man I’d hero-worshiped as an 8 year old girl (and sorry Anne, had a bit of a crush on, too), telling me that I AM OKAY. So… silly little fan girl that I am, loaded up my twitter again, and started following all kinds of my favorite people. Too many to name, but I’ve had some “follow backs” myself that have made me grin like a crazy person, as well as replies and likes from several of my favorite people. I’ve had brief Facebook chats with some truly awesome people (more on that in the future, maybe 😉 ).

I tweet and Facebook about new projects coming up, sharing memes and seeing fun stuff. I laugh, I smile, I read blogs and articles, sign up for newsletters and generally enjoy myself and all the geekness I can handle. I look at pictures from conventions, I smile at Mr. Auberjonois’ bucket pictures. I giggle when Jeri Ryan and Robert Picardo tease each other. I try not to swoon too much when I get a like, or a reply.

And then, as I’m writing, Jeri Ryan posts this meme:


And well, it’s kind of my whole point. I’m letting my weird light shine bright. I’m here. I’m shy. I’m socially awkward. I may stutter, shake, giggle in weird places, or smile way too much, but I’m a weirdo. And I’m okay with that.

So, to Mr. Wheaton (and his lovely wife, Anne), Jeri Ryan, Terry Farrell, Gates McFadden, Sir Patrick Stewart, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Rene Auberjonois, Manu Intiraymi, Robert Picardo, Brent Spiner, Eddie McClintock, Connor Trineer, Jolene Blalock, and so many many many more, THANK YOU. You all have been massively patient with us crazy fans. I know there are “bad eggs” out there, but you still continue to be patient with us, even if we are annoying. ❤

(P.S. I will get back to my crafty updates soon, I promise, I do have things to show off there)


Weekly Craft Update – January 25, 2016


Last week was definitely not a good one for steps. Not to give too much TMI, but I was just feeling blah and really didn’t want to move. Somewhat it was the weather, some was hormones, and just one of those weeks. 


It is a new week, the sun is shining again and no point in dwelling on what I didn’t accomplish. Time to focus on what I can do this week. 

One thing about being lazy… Lots of bum in chair stitching time (way more than I should have probably) but, I’m also at the frustrating, there are no big blocks of the same color part of the background. For new readers, I stitch a little weird. I start in the middle (I do read directions… Sometimes). But, I tend to pick a color, and do everything I can reasonably get to (I don’t like to skip a bunch, yes I know it’s counted cross stitch, but mistakes tend to happen more the more squares counted) and then I switch to another color and do the same. So, when there aren’t large blocks of color together, I tend to get frustrated and annoyed. But. I also love the way it looks with all the detail in the end so I know it’s worth it, doesn’t stop me from wanting to chuck it out the window though. I also have a slight obsession with finding edges, especially in the big pieces like this. Also, I do all single color stitches first, and then the blended. Told you, I’m weird. Times like these though, the weekly pictures are a huge help, so I can actually see that I did make progress lol.

Okay, enough rambling. Here is your picture…

On a personal note. Well a few things. I have been online gaming some again, and I have my friends (who I will call Banana Man and Slippers) to thank for making it loads of fun. And I want to wish a happy birthday to Dr. Fox… An old friend who hasn’t been around much, but when I put the date at the top, I remembered that it is tomorrow. ❤

Keep smiling, keep crafting and most of all, have fun!

More Past Projects

So, today I’ve been focusing on listing things on eBay and other things around the house. While pulling things out of my closet, I spotted a box I had nearly forgotten about. This is a tough one. Everything in this box was originally intended as gifts for a friend and her son in the UK, but, due to that crazy thing called life, I never got her address before a falling out happened. Now, here it is, more than six months past that falling out, and so I guess it’s time to show off my work, and then list it all to sell.

Her favorite color is pink, and she likes bright and cheerful things, but being that she was in the northern part of the UK she was chilly 9 months out of the year. So, below see pictures of the small shawl, long scarf and then lap sized afghan I made for her, as well as a blue and grey scarf for her son.

Off to eBay they go! (And then maybe etsy lol I’m still figuring that one out.











*deep breath*

Training up teenagers is NOT easy. It is probably one of the hardest jobs on the planet. Ever.

Teenagers are moody. Teenagers are sensitive. Teenagers are unreasonable. Teenagers make NO sense a lot of the time. Teenagers test every nerve and bit of patience you have. Having a teenager is one of the many things that keeps me awake at night worrying.


My teenager (16 going on 17… admit it, you sang it along with me), is actually a pretty cool kid. She is an artsy type. Loves theater, art, musicals, Greek mythology, Batman, Dr. Who, and all kinds of stuff. She has a pretty decent head on her shoulders, is fairly mature for her age, but still loves a good Disney movie once in a while, (hey we watched her favorite “Hercules” ON her 16th birthday, and yes, her obsession with all things Greek Myth related started at age 2). She loves to read, and will devour just about anything you put in front of her. I started her on Little House books like I did, then she moved on to the Narnia series. She hasn’t stopped since. In fact, as punishment for lack of chore-doing or homework missing, we’ve had to take the books AWAY so she doesn’t sit in “her” spot on the love seat with the little dog and her book lol.

I don’t typically give parenting advice, unless I’m asked. Mostly because when people realize how young *I* am to have a 16 year old, most of them think I don’t have a clue, so they don’t ask. So, first things first, let’s go ahead and get this out there. Yes, I am 35. Yes, you did your math correctly, I was 19 when I had her. I don’t regret a thing. (Hey I’ll be 37 when she graduates high school! Which ironically enough, will be exactly 20 years after I did lol). Do I recommend starting that early for everybody? No. It takes a certain amount of maturity to be able to handle all things parenting related at that age. But, I grew up fast. I worked, paid for my own health insurance, took myself to my doctor’s appointments (and later took DD), moved out on my own, etc etc etc.

That being said. DH and I work VERY hard to make sure that both kids, but especially DD now, take a slightly different path than we did. I want her to go to college (and finish). Even if it’s online from home to get her core stuff out of the way first. I want her to find a career and work hard at it. We are strict parents. We know what we got into as teenagers, and don’t want our kids to follow that path. So yes, gatherings with friends either happen at home, or at a friend’s house with parents in attendance, or somewhere very public, with me there somewhere, (ie walking around the mall). Now, before you think I’m completely neurotic. Yes, DD has a “boyfriend”. He’s actually a great kid, they’ve been friends since day one of their freshman year, and are really great close friends. His parents are of like mind as us. And he has a younger sibling too. Which, by they way, make GREAT chaperones, they LOVE to tattle on older siblings lol.

Recently tho, we found out that one of DD’s friends wasn’t exactly making the best choices in life for a not quite 16 year old (she’s a few months younger than DD). I had noticed, that it seemed to me anyway, that DD was pulling away from said friend, who’s life seems to just be one problem, mass of drama, after another. So, in one of our car rides home, I asked a few questions. Heard about various incidents, both in school and out, and suggested that maybe it was time to pull back a little and not spend as much time with this person. Which I explained, if these are the things that are happening in her life, it’s probably best to keep a distance. Don’t need the “birds of a feather” to become an issue for her. Now, scroll back up to where I said, “Teenagers test every nerve and bit of patience you have”. Read that a few more times lol. Because, not the best decision in this situation, DD told her friend that I said it was best to not spend as much time together. *cue … um… poop and fan please*


This led to two days of angry phone calls, texts, accusations, insults, etc. Among various things, I now know, well, first and foremost, I most definitely made the right decision. I also know, apparently *cough sarcastically* my daughter will never have any friends if she picks them by their grades, O.o , I’m a horrible mother for taking my DD away during such a tough time, (tough time being that apparently there is stalking by an ex of the “friend” and um… I want my daughter near that WHY?!?), and that people think I can be manipulated by a crying teenager on the phone. O.o again, I’ve been at this for 16 years, plus I have two nieces, two sisters, and have been around kids most of my life of various ages. C’mon I was a theater kid my WHOLE life. (not to mention, I’m just not one of those overly emotional chicks. I’m more likely to cry when I’m pissed off than I am at a book or movie. Sorry ladies, but I just don’t deal with tears well, I’m more likely to tell you to suck it up and fix it lol)

Now, yes I mentioned we are strict. And I’m not kidding. Lets go ahead and be blunt. There’s really only one reason two teenagers want to spend time alone. And well. We all know what THAT can get you. So, yes, although I trust that we have taught DD well the consequences of sex, I don’t trust two hormonal teenagers to necessarily make the right decision. And so, yes, I am going to suggest that it’s not a good thing for my DD to spend a lot of time with someone who not only is consummating her relationship with a boyfriend, but being allowed to have sleep overs with said person. *facedesk* Sorry, but I will judge you on how you parent. I won’t tell you how to parent your child, we all have different styles. And if it works for you and your kids GREAT. But don’t come crying to me when they drop out of school, tell you they hate you, run away, get pregnant, or whatever, and ask me “What happened?!?”. Mostly because you won’t like it when I tell you it’s because you were too worried about being their friend to actually be their PARENT.

*begin rant*

You are the parent. You are in charge. You are NOT their friend. Yes, they have feelings, and those feelings are valid, but sometimes you are going to hurt those feelings. Teenagers need to hear “no” just as often as a 2 year old. Allowing your child to make all their own decisions and force your hand on giving into them are just manipulating you. I’ve heard it before “they’ll run away”. Okay, fine, call the cops, worry, pace, freak out, but let the cops find them and bring them home. “They’ll hate me”. You have NO idea how mean I thought my dad was when I was a teenager. Looking back, he was just doing it all to protect me. If you’re really worried about them hurting themselves, that’s what therapy is for (or just having them admitted, you again are the parent and can have them put on a suicide watch if you are that concerned). If you are really worried about them hurting someone else, be careful, but be ready to call the police. Let them realize that there are consequences to acting that way. That’s the BIGGEST problem I see today. Too many parents want to be friends with their kids, and don’t force them to realize there are consequences to their actions. You are not here to be their friend. Not now. Once they have turned into functioning adults, sure no problem, but not as teenagers (or younger).

*end rant*… ish

I am going to end this with one of my favorite pictures I’ve used on Facebook lately when seeing posts about teenagers. It’s great, and some day I will either find this or make this. lol


Going to end this here for today. Just remember. Parenting is HARD, parenting is WORK, but parenting is the MOST rewarding job out there. Smile everybody!

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