Tag Archives: manners

I Just Don’t Get…


Before I get to showing off the progress on the cross stitch this week, I had to kind of get this out of my brain.

This post has literally been on my mind for a couple weeks now. For various reasons.

The title (I just don’t get people) is something I actually say frequently. Because, truly, I just don’t “get” (or understand if my vernacular is too Southern American for some of you) people. Not saying everyone, not saying even certain people all the time, but there is usually at least once a day, that at some point I am going to look at something on Facebook, TV, or out in the “real world” and say, at least to myself, but usually DH as well, that I JUST don’t GET people.

If you’re wondering, it’s because I just don’t get WHY some people do certain things, or how someone can be so idiotic and still remember to breathe, or why people get so obsessed with certain things/people/celebrities/fads/etc, or especially in the world of Facebook, why people think it’s okay to be downright, MEAN, rude, etc.

Yes, I am one of those logical, less emotional than most, introverted, “weird” people. No, I don’t have pointy ears, so no, I am not Vulcan. At least as far as I know I’m not.

Lately though, it just seems that amongst my groups of people I interact with in various ways, be it through Facebook, other online things, out in public, first hand accounts I hear from others, etc, that one of the biggest problems out in the world to day is a lack of manners, coupled with a lack of common sense.

Okay, so, mostly I see this on Facebook. Which is why I keep my friend’s list pared down to people I actually am either, related to, interact with (or have interacted with in the recent past) some what regularly, or people that I know because our children interact regularly. Some I am much closer to than others, and that’s not good or bad either way, just the way life is. I don’t like having hundreds of friends on Facebook, for several reasons, one is my privacy and the privacy of my children, but also, there is just no way, in any realm of existence I have the ability, energy, or need to keep up with 900+ people, most of which I might have met once in my life, or went to high school with nearly 20 years ago. Would I like to possibly know some of them better? Of course, but there are factors that cause issues with that as well. Time, schedules, the fact that I don’t like just sitting in front of my computer all day (did that for a while, it’s bad for the waist line), the issues I have with long phone conversations (I’d much rather text lol), the fact that I am rather introverted and so idle conversation is difficult for me, as well as, I don’t follow most celebrities, movies, etc, and have rather odd tastes in music, books and movies/TV.

Anyway, I digress.

What I don’t understand, is why people find it necessary to do things like “look I’m obsessed with this particular celebrity, Join ME!” (aka let me invite you to every single page I come across, and share EVERY picture/video/status so it floods your timeline). And yes, I’m aware I can block them from being on my timeline, but then I might miss it if something important is actually said. Or, how about the statuses (gee thanks Facebook for letting people be tagged in these too, as if pictures weren’t enough) that call out a particular person and their behavior for the whole world to see. *facedesk* Really people? Dirty laundry goes in the washer, not on Facebook. Or, “this is my political/religious viewpoint on XYZ, and if you don’t agree you are WRONG and STUPID!!”, all of this is usually one, only said to get people talking, and two really horrific if you start reading the comments. Like, evil, mean, horrible things said about each other, none of which I can guarantee would be said if you were sitting across the table from them or down the bar. Not for most people anyway.

Now before I get bashed even more. Yes, I am aware of people having the right to say what they want to say, express opinions on all types of subject matters and be obsessed with whomever they please (as long as it’s not stalking and/or potentially dangerous). Yes, I do realize that they are bringing whatever is said to them on themselves, etc. But. Seriously people? If it was real life, would you be shoving these pictures in peoples faces? Would you be going up to random people you don’t know and saying “well, so and so did XYZ?” Would you really start screaming foul language and calling people names JUST because their beliefs don’t fall into line with your own? I REALLY doubt it. Most of you at least, would never consider it.

The age of the internet, which I am of the generation that has watched it start with crazy annoying loud modems and BBS systems, to this insanely HUGE amount of information at my fingertips, 24/7 where ever I am. In just over 20 years, it has moved from network TV and the newspaper to being our biggest source of news, to now, where a lot of your headlines can be found trending on your Facebook homepage.

What I want people to think about though, is something I was raised with. If you don’t want it on the front page of the newspaper for everyone to see, don’t do it. And now, it’s, if you don’t want the whole WORLD to see it, in the blink of an eye, don’t do it. Digital foot prints are out there, and there to stay. If you don’t want people to think you’re an @$$h0le then don’t act like one online. Stop hiding behind the screen and act JUST like you would in public, online. And for the sake of everyone who’s path you might cross in life, STOP… THINK… use some common sense and stop reacting like the whole world is after you or that everything said is a personal attack. Have a problem with someone? TALK. Don’t like what someone posts on Facebook? Tell them, hide them, or unfriend them. Easy as that.

Not quite sure if this post took the direction that I originally intended but I hope you all get my idea. Stop, think, smile, truly consider if your words and actions are truly benefiting anyone besides you and your own personal agenda.

Kids, Public Spaces and Manners

Hello my lovely readers. Today is a non crafty post, more of a vent today lol.

I started thinking about this one a couple weeks ago when a friend of mine, after going to a local university baseball game, went with her DH to a local restaurant. They were seated in a section, where near the end of their meal, two couples with some children were seated. The adults took a table, and sat having drinks and socializing, while the children took another, and then coats etc were piled on a third table. The children proceeded to run amok, doing as they please, without a word from the adults in charge. So, essentially, kids are being disruptive, and this group of 8 or so people (adults and children total) took three tables in a section with no regard to anyone else.

Okay. First things first. No, this was not a “children’s” restaurant. Meaning, it wasn’t the big mouse pizza place where kids are expected to run around. This was a sit down, with waiter/waitress, order from a menu, serves adult beverages type of place. Near a large University, employing mostly college aged people for their wait staff. Family friendly, sure, caters to kids specifically, no.

I understand wanting to go out. Have some time with your friends, enjoy an adult beverage or two, let the kids hang out. I really do understand. I am a mom of two, and just because you’ve created life, doesn’t mean your social life is required to go out the window. I know not every child can sit through a meal. I think they should be taught to, but I understand, in some circumstances, that isn’t possible. (But, in my not so humble opinion, if your child isn’t capable of this, get a sitter and go alone or don’t go to a place where a child running about is going to cause a problem to the other people there). There have been plenty of times in life I have either declined an invitation for a meal out, or stayed behind while the rest go out, or sat in the car during a meal because of a particularly fussy child.

Now, before anyone starts reading me the riot act. Please understand. I am not saying this just because of the comfort of other diners. There is also a HUGE safety issue here. I’m sure we’ve all been somewhere, where something similar has happened; where literally small (toddler, preschool, early elementary aged) children are running around. I mean out of their seats, chasing each other, running around. I know kids at that age. Not only are they not always very spatially aware, but they see the world from 4 feet down and below. Meaning, that they are not necessarily going to see your 6 foot tall waiter with a tray full of hot food, come around the corner before it’s too late. And, unfortunately, in this litigious society we are in, there are going to be times when mom and dad are going to be on the phone with the lawyer suing the restaurant. I know some of you are thinking “no they wouldn’t, it wasn’t the restaurant’s fault!”, but um, yeah, remember the when someone sued because they got burned, by HOT COFFEE? Yeah, they won that one. So yeah, it can happen. It probably has.

Now, I know DH and I are strict. We expect our children to behave properly when out in public. We expect, “please”, “thank you”, “yes sir/ma’am” etc. We also expect them to pick a reasonable food choice from the menu, and place their own order with the waiter/waitress. Yes, I have left the grocery store because of a misbehaving child. Yes, I have sat in the car with a fussy baby so the rest of the family could finish their meal in peace. Because, I understand that the world does not revolve around me, my wants, and my desires, and that it’s completely unfair, not only to the other diners, but the staff as well to have a massive distraction, or unpleasantness in their section.

All this being said. It is our job as parents to train our children. Sorry, you raise crops, you train children. Babies are born with nothing but natural instinct, it is our job to teach them how to be civilized and eventually productive members of society. You can not do this by being your kids’ best friend. You can not do this by just expecting them to know what to do. You can not do this by allowing behaviors you don’t like to continue without doing something about it. You can not do this by worrying about hurting their feelings, again, you are the parent, NOT the friend. You can not do this by threatening punishments, but never following through. It doesn’t work. Are my kids perfect? No where close. Do I usually receive compliments on their behavior? Yes. Do I deal with it when I don’t? Absolutely.

I am the first to admit, that there are times, I really don’t like other people’s kids. This is because, I expect all children to behave with the manners appropriate to their age (mental and/or physical). So, when I am met with rude, un-mannered, misbehaving children, all I want to do is get away. It’s why I don’t teach. I was raised to respect my elders, use my manners, and keep quiet when adults are trying to have a conversation. There are times I see how some children speak to their parents or other adults in charge and I’m stunned because I would have never spoken to an adult that way, nor would I allow my children to. I still wouldn’t speak to someone else, just another human being, in the manner that some children do today. I’d be too embarrassed.

Anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox for today. Just think about it. (also, side note, if you don’t have kids, don’t give advice, unless you have a degree in early childhood education or child psychology, k thanks) I’ve seen the meme plenty of times, “Forget about what kind of world we are leaving for our children, what kind of children are we leaving for the world”.

Smile everybody! It helps you and just might help someone else!

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